To the right is the inspirational Babette square, and to the left are the beginnings of my New ripple. I am calling this the Navajo blanket because a) that is the name which popped into my head when I chose these colours, and b) a Google search reveals that some of these colours (black, turquoise, yellow and white) are actually considered colours of the Navajo, so I feel vindicated.
Crochet aside, I have decided to pull myself together a bit. I have been spiralling down into gloom a little too much lately, what with being ill, and family and stuff. I have still been keeping on top of Oliver's life - all is well there, but for my own stuff - missing work through illness, not having the house 'organised', not feeling on top of 'going somewhere' - is starting to overwhelm me. I don't run a pristine home - housework bores the tits off of me truth be told, although I derive a great sense of satisfaction from when it is done thoroughly. The vision I like to give the world of me is of a laid back cool housewife who cleans when I absolutely have to because we might get some sort of disease from a rare mould growing in our dust bowl home. The reality is a me who gets quite freaked out by the enormity of the task of cleaning and therefore can't start. The rare times I do, I don't stop, and hours pass with me hoovering and wiping and bleaching. And then the guilt starts again. It fucking annoys me. And this house is terrible for mould and it depresses me intensely.
In my first marriage, in my early 20's sans kids career days, I got into a routine of getting up on a Saturday morning, going for a run (I was living through my training-because-I-felt-guilty-if-I-didn't time back then) dusting, polishing, and hoovering the entire house and finishing off with sterilising the bathroom. Only then could I allow myself to go out anywhere or meet anyone and enjoy my weekend. It got so that I could not enjoy Saturday until these rituals were performed. I did try rebelling, and not doing it once, but the feeling of failure, guilt and disgust were too much to bear. Once the marriage was over, I swore I would never again be a slave to keeping house in such a fashion. Which has left Mark feeling a little cheated I expect. I am sure he must feel he has ended up with the dregs of me - the older, chubbier, slobbier me. But in my defence, I was more mental back then and quite unsuited to the compromises needed to form and maintain relationships. I'm still not very good at it...
You can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.
Anyhow, I have drifted off piste again, and so would like to bring you back into the room - and - back into the room.
I leave you with Flash, the cat with the annoyingly persistent and loud miaow, who has taken a shine to cosying up to Oliver at any given opportunity.
Laters.
Maybe a schedule would lessen my burden of guilt. Maybe I wouldn't even have to DO it to feel as if I'd made an effort. Hmmm. I am attracted to this theory.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Do you fancy a cuppa? Either here at Mouldy Towers (complete with Kim Fawlty), or at yours?
ReplyDeleteKim. xx
cuppa(s) would be good!
DeleteBeen there on the obsessive cleaning the house routine thing - I too had to spend Saturday mornings as Mrs Mop before I could allow myself to do anything else. Working full time has forced my hand into sloppier ways but I am not sure that's a bad thing. I'd rather spend my free time sewing or hooking or whatever really and when there isn't so much free time going, the dusting and mopping sometimes just has to take a back seat although I do get satisfaction from doing it as and when. And it can be quite therapeutic if one has been dealing with difficult situations all day to have a few quiet moments with a bottle of Cif and a sponge! And if I've been all peopled-out I quite like having an empty house and a bit of cleaning to do! I know, sad isn't it?! Now onto the more important questions of life! Sad to hear of the demise of your ripple blanket but if the yarn isn't nice to work with it's no good pursuing it. Love the idea of a Navajo blanket! Are you going to give it a Navajo fringe with beads? all sorts of possibilities there. Those pics of Flash the cat with Oliver are just SO adorable! Keep hooking your blanket and let any mouldy corners look after themselves! E x
ReplyDeletePS Yesterday - as promised.
Thank you Elizabeth. x
DeleteThe fringe idea is a good one - hadn't thought of it but I like the idea and it would seem more 'authentic', or as authentic as a Stylecraft acrylic north american blanket gets anyhow ha ha. When you've finished cif-ing your abode, pop round mine will you?
I made a cardigan using cotton for the first (and last) time earlier this year. I like that it's cotton, which is nice and breathable etc but it doesn't have any 'give' to it when you're knitting. Wool for me from now on!
ReplyDeleteI used to be a tidy freak when I was young but six kids later and my standards are different!
Jess x
I think that that is exactly what I don't like about using it - the lack of 'give. Well, that and the many strands which get tangled up on my hook. Much a-swearing to be had!
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteHave changed my mind - I really do think that a thin line of white between the black and brown occasionally would actually bring the whole thing alive (and you know how much I like the blanket the way it is).
Kim. xx
Goodness SAKES, I've just NOT gone and bought the white because of you banging on about how it would 'throw out the balance' I don't know WHY I listen to you, honestly....
Delete