I'll get to this in a minute.
A few days ago Mark asked me to transfer some money online from one of our accounts, to another. So I did. Then I received a letter from the bank informing me that there had been a transaction on my account 'out of character' with my 'normal account activity'. So in order to 'protect' me they had not only not allowed the transfer through, they had suspended access to my account.
Brilliant.
I had to telephone to prove my worth. I did this, and subsequently failed verification. Liverpool Lou (their call centre is up that way by the sounds of it) told me I could call back and try again later, or go into a branch with photographic ID. Since I was so vague about which direct debits are paid from this particular account in the first place, I couldn't see how ringing back later with the same vague information could possibly help the situation. So, amid much cursing and ill temper, I drove into town to prove I am who I am. (and who I am needs no excuses. ha ha.)
The poor sap who ended up having to deal with me had to ring the call centre again, and I had to go through the same bloody rigmarole sat in the branch as I did earlier. Despite being far less vague than my first attempt, I failed. I got cross and told the woman on the end of the phone that I couldn't bear to talk to her anymore and handed it back to poor sap. Despite him confirming that I was sat in front of him with a passport, they refused to unlock my account. This is security checks gone mad. Jobsworth and all that. Poor sap went for back up. Mr Manager came out. I did feel for them to tell you the truth - they seemed as depressed about the whole thing as much as me.
In order to help me pass this verification procedure - which was starting to resemble an entrance exam to Mensa - they printed out a copy of my latest transactions and direct debits and let me phone oop north once more. This time I was sailing through the answers until they asked my if I had the debit card on me. I knew that 'er, no' was going to cost me.
Long story short - I have to ring up for a fourth time. You couldn't make it up. Thanks O bank of mine - thank you so much for your vigilance in protecting my financial information. You are doing it so well that even I can't get to it myself now.... you dicks.
Oliver, sat quietly next to me whilst this hoo-hah was happening, was quite unnerved by my display of angst. To compensate the poor little bugger for his distress, I took him into the Lush shop a few doors down. He loves a posh bath bomb every now and then. So we got one, and a smidge of soap. The smidge of soap cost £4.22. Whaaaat? That's about 3.5 baths worth. I could bathe in asses milk for less.
So I leave you with this
a very decent Cranks carrot cake, and this recipe found on the back of a pasta packet, which is bloody nice. It's a 2 hour oven job.
Think of me later, trying in vain once more to regain account access. Ironically, a fraudster would have done it by now.
Your timing couldn't have been more apt! Guess what I've spent hours on the phone trying to do this afternoon?! You've got it in one - trying to persuade my bank to unlock my card after I tried to order something yesterday and they decided it looked dodgy and blocked the card without telling me. Those automated phone systems where you pour out your life history "for a few security questions" do my head in. I too lost my cool after being given the runaround and being told the card was unblocked with immediate effect only to find that it hadn't been. I wonder what happens when we can't prove who we are? It's Kafkaesque and no mistake. Hope you get your ID issue resolved to the bank's satisfaction without too much more hassle. E x
ReplyDeleteAlthough I cannot say 'I'm glad' that you shared this experience (that would not be nice of me) I feel you will understand my relief that someone else understands the complete frustration of jumping through hoops to no end when you are the innocent party!! Quelle horreur. I love to think what you might do when you lose your cool!
ReplyDeleteYes, this one will be added the ever growing list of 'things my fussy-arsed family are suspicious of and eat under duress.'
ReplyDeleteOh Janice.. I feel for you, I think we all have a story. I too had real issues taking out some money when I had to divi up an inheritance. Passports and stuff when you have the person's death cert and stuff.. What a pain.
ReplyDeleteI set up internet banking with my building society which now masquerades as a bank, transferred in one go all but £25, they let it through and ten days later I got a letter saying my internet banking was locked due to odd transactions.. Just the one and it went through, just as well it was me and not the fraudster who May have been at it as ten days later they shut the proverbial stable door! And I log in as Col as I am not allowed to see our credit card account, him being the main card holder.. Bah, sexist gits!
Be happy that you have our utmost symathies.. Get in that hot bath :-):-):-)